When I look back on our engagement and our relationship in general, one thing really stands out the most - he was never there. Yes, there were the occasional events and things we did as a couple, but they were few and far between. We never spent a holiday long periods of time together, but were content to talk and see each other a few times a week. There was always a reason, but never a good one, to lead our lives in separate directions. His excuse was always that we didn’t live together and when we did, it would all change. I was dumb, and I bought it. The truth of the matter is, that time would never come. He was always content to be anywhere else, so long as it wasn’t with me. He was happy to see me and hear me when he felt the need to, and mostly he didn’t feel it necessary at all. It wasn’t until much later that I would realize he was happy without me; I wasn’t a necessity, I was a commodity.