In honor of Mother’s Day, I’ve decided to dedicate this entry to my soon-to-be ex-mother-in-law, on what will be our first, and thankfully last, Mother’s Day. This letter is dedicated to you on this very special Mother’s Day.
Dear Mrs. _____________,
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! This year I’m giving you your son back, though he was never mine to begin with. I’m sure this will be the best gift you could ask for, since you kept trying to steal him anyway. Enjoy!
I’m sure you’re thrilled to have your adult-child back, and can barely contain your excitement at the mere thought that I’m finally gone. No more competition, no more fake illnesses, you have his full attention, yet again. Gone are the days of faking panic attacks, depression, and stomach aches to get him to leave my side. You can take all of the “extra” forks, plates and cups out of hiding now. Your son may be blind to your manipulative ways, but I always saw right through you. Remember the day you threw everything out of the kitchen and just left one of everything because you claimed to be so lonely in that halfway house you call a home? Or maybe you remember the cruise you asked us for…oh and we bought…for you birthday right after we got engaged? There was also the time you asked us for a couch for Christmas, when we had nothing in our own little vacant home. I could go on and on, and on, but I would need a whole new blog just to tell all those stories…..but that’s ok, I will definitely share the best ones here J
I also wanted to thank you for keeping in touch during this difficult time, it’s been greatly appreciated. Oh wait, you didn’t call. Thanks for your concern, but I don’t need it anyway. You deserve the mother of the year award for everything you’ve done. I hope as you sit around the table celebrating this year, you take a good hard look at everything you’ve created and destroyed. I hope you’re ashamed, you really should be. Cheers!
P.S. On a less sarcastic note, I do sincerely thank you for showing me that my mother is worth more than you could ever hope to be. I always knew I had a great mom, but it wasn’t until I met you that I really understood what a rare gem she really is.