Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Follow your gut, not your heart.

There were plenty of signs along the way, most of which I didn’t ignore.  There was never anything that didn’t feel right, that I didn’t bring up.  I would constantly speak up when I saw the red flags.  That wasn’t my mistake, though Mr. Wrong would tell you differently.  I don’t regret standing up for myself, and trying to address things that just didn’t seem right.  I don’t regret fighting for what I truly believed in.  What I do regret is accepting his sorry excuses and pathetic explanations for his actions.  He could turn a situation around on you like it was his day job.  You went from angry to feeling guilty and bad for him in 60 seconds flat.  I’m not by any means a stupid girl, but he knew my weaknesses and he used them to his advantage.  I didn’t ignore the signs; I just always managed to let him convince me I needed glasses. 
Here were some of his favorite lines:
1.       You’re just so insecure and that’s the problem in our relationship.
2.       You haven’t been in enough serious relationship to know how good you have it.
3.       I don’t bother you when you’re having fun with your friends or you’re on vacation.
4.       Don’t judge others by the expectations and standards you set for yourself, no one can live up to them.
5.       You’re too immature to know what an adult relationship is supposed to be like.
My mistake was believing he was right.
Here’s what I really thought:
1.       Ummm, no YOU and your selfish behavior are the problem in our relationship….and let’s not forget your mother.
2.       Clearly being in a ton of serious relationships before didn’t help you at all, since you can’t seem to have a successful one.  And you don’t need to have 20 serious relationships to know what a good one looks like.
3.       I’m sorry, I’m a bother?
4.       They can’t be that high, I’m with you.
5.       Keep reading, you’ll see that I have more maturity in my little finger than he has in his entire body.  He is the definition of cowardice and immaturity. 
My advice: If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.  There are so many things I forgave for love, and so many things I let go to make the relationship work.  In any relationship there are things you have to forgive and let go, but if you’re gut tells you that you love him more than he loves you, and his actions prove what his words fail to mention, believe me, he’s lying to you and to himself.  Don’t sit around and wait for him to figure it out, because by the time he does, it will be too late. 
Follow your heart, but don't ignore your gut - it's always right.

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